Problems with Anger Management, Homework, or Anxiety? A Different Solution.....

A poll by University of Michigan's C.S. Mott Children's hospital revealed that while most parents visit the pediatrician prepared to ask questions about new physical symptoms demonstrated by their children, they often neglect to mention behavior changes.

The problem? Behavior and emotions are often linked to physical problems. For example:

• Temper tantrums could be triggered by 
• gastric pain from a food allergy or sensitivity
• a seizure disorder
• ADHD
• Sudden homework problems may arise from
• vision difficulties
• anxiety
• sleep of poor quality
• depression
• ADD/ADHD
• Anxiety could be the result of
• depression
• asthma
• diabetes
• thyroid problems
• heart disease
• irritable bowel syndrome

What do you do? Discuss sudden changes in behavior and emotions (such as sadness that lasts for a month or longer) or symptoms that are unusual for the child's age, with your family doctor. Together you can consult about the most appropriate interventions. 

Taming Impulsivity

Those with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, and other challenges often act in an impulsive manner. They may blurt out inappropriate comments, hit others, or break rules that they understand. While this behavior is due to poor executive function control, there are methods you can use to help them reduce impulsive actions.

• Use visual reminders of expectations

• Practice calming strategies such as deep breathing, walking, using a squeeze ball in the left hand, or taking a time out. 
• Teach the child to recognize when he or she is becoming upset and to use the calming strategies. My friend used a traffic light as an example for a two-year-old. When her daughter started to get anxious or angry, she would say, "You're on yellow, what are you going to do to go back to green?" After a period of days without going to red, there was a reward. 
• Reduce anxiety by giving a clear schedule and warnings of transitions from one activity to another (in 5 minutes, we're going to put the toys away) or one location to another (this afternoon we're going to Grandma's house). 
• Try a point system to encourage good behavior. 
• When the child has calmed down after a problem, discuss the other options he or she had to deal with the situation and what the best choice would be in the future. Use a visual reminder to prepare for the next time. 

How have you tamed impulsivity in your home?

Emotional Security, Self-Help Skills, and Improved Family Life

One simple change has the power to improve your family's health, behavior, and relationships. It can prevent chronic illness and school failure. Sound too good to be true?

It is.

While this change can be powerful, it's not simple. It requires ongoing effort and consistency. What is this miracle cure?

Working a family schedule.

Before you dismiss this idea as unworkable, take a look at a few advantages for all family members:

• Everyone in the family will be happier.
• It decreases stress in the family.
• You will build stronger family relationships through fun routines and traditions.
• Daily tasks seem more manageable.
• Fewer family disputes.
• Improves resilience for all family members.
• Prevents chronic illness such as diabetes.

There are additional benefits for the parents:

• Greater productivity for household tasks.
• Parents will be better able to think and be more organized. 
• You will feel better about how you're doing as a parent overall.
• Less nagging for parents.

The children (especially those with disabilities) will experience:

• The ability to fall asleep faster because when children are overtired, it takes them longer to fall asleep.
• Body clocks will be set to regular times for eating and sleeping, which is healthier.
• Better cognitive development and learning of new skills.
• Fewer emotional and behavioral problems.
• Better sense of feeling secure.
• Children will be healthier and learn good health habits to use throughout their lives.
• Predictability reduces anxiety.
• Routines teach responsibility, job skills, and time management.
• Lowers risk of school failure.

Experts report it's best to start working a family schedule when children are young, but it's never too late.

Next time: How to begin implementing your family schedule.

Helping Children with Disabilities Start, Follow Through, and Complete Activities - Improving Executive Function

Many people with disabilities struggle with executive functioning. Your executive function abilities can be compared to the leader of an orchestra. These skills are what coordinates all other brain activities. Individuals who have problems with executive function will struggle to

• plan a project
• determine how long an activity will take
• tell a story out loud or in writing
• share details that are organized or sequential
• memorize and retrieve memories
• start activities
• generate ideas
• recall information while doing something else--such as remembering what to do next as they are getting dressed

Diagnosis of an executive function disorder may be made through standardized testing by an educational diagnostician, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Challenges with executive functioning may also be part of another disabling condition such as ADHD, autism, depression, learning disabilities, brain injuries, Alzheimer's, stroke, etc. 

There are two types of executive function: organization and regulation. Organization is involved for tasks like making a grocery list, getting to the store, purchasing the items, and getting them put away. Regulation is required to react to changes, such as lowering the volume of your voice when you go from outside to in the house.

There are many things you can do at home to improve executive function:

• Give step-by-step instructions for new activities, with visual reminders to use along the way. 
• Make use of organizers, watch alarms, computer reminders, and other devices for reminders.
• Use visual schedules when learning how to get ready for school, making a simple meal, or performing household tasks like setting the table. 
• Combine oral instructions with visual or written reminders when possible. 
• Plan for transitions between activities (give warnings and reminders).
• Use checklists for long tasks.
• Break big projects (like cleaning the room) into smaller pieces, like 
• clean off the bed
• pick up the clothing
• put Legos away
• put game pieces away
• close closet door
• put books away
• Train your child to write the due date at the top of every assignment.
• Organize desks and lockers on a weekly basis
• clear clutter
• throw away trash
• have a "to do" area and a "completed" area
• make sure supplies are easy to reach
• Make a reusable checklist for homework and projects
• get supplies out
• seat in designated area
• work for 15 minutes
• 2 minute break
• work for 15 more minutes
• put supplies away
• put work in backpack to take to school
• Schedule monthly troubleshooting sessions to review problems and form solutions.

How do you best deal with executive function challenges?

Generalization of Skills - Can They Do It?

Over the course of a student evaluation, I often get information from parents and teachers about what a child can and cannot do. This data may cover academic abilities, or life skills such as independent dressing, social skills, or safety information. Sometimes it's difficult to get a good picture of what the child has actually accomplished.

Gathering your own information (or to share with others):
The child can do the task, such as making a bed, if it is done independently without reminders. If you have to give prompts, indicate how many times, or if you need to supervise or help with the chore. Don't guess--if you haven't seen it happen, we need to assume that's an area of need.

How can you tell if the youngster has something mastered? We look for skill generalization. In other words, can the same task be accomplished in multiple environments?

For example, a young man with an autism spectrum disorder recently wanted to make a request of me. He approached me, shook my hand, and made his request in an impressively polite manner. He gave very good reasons for the expression of his need, and thanked me for my time. I would say that teen has mastered greetings, self-advocacy, and conversational skills. He did this independently without prompting.

Another young lady can greet others appropriately in the school setting, but requires prompts in other areas. She has not yet mastered this skill, but prompts can be removed, or faded, over time to increase her independence.

Try tracking some basic life skills, including social skills, to celebrate accomplishments and identify areas of need. You can find a list of age-appropriate behaviors here.

Dangers of Pornography for Those with Disabilities....and Everyone Else!

In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland,

"Most days we all find ourselves assaulted by immoral messages of some kind flooding in on us from every angle. The darker sides of the movie, television, and music industry step further and further into offensive language and sexual misconduct. Tragically, the same computer and Internet service that allows me to do my family history and prepare those names for temple work could, without filters and controls, allow my children or grandchildren access to a global cesspool of perceptions that could blast a crater in their brains forever. (Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul, April 2010 General Conference).

Exposure to pornography does significant damage to the brains of everyone who views it. The impact is far greater for those with disabilities, especially if they struggle with comprehension, impulsivity, or are primarily visual learners. Parents of students with cognitive struggles such as an intellectual disability, ADD/ADHD, or autism, need to be especially vigilant.

Everyone needs to take appropriate steps to ensure Internet access is safe in their homes. See the Internet Safety Handout created by the Church.

Give your children and teens a “gospel vaccination” by following the lessons provided in “A Parent’s Guide” to help them understand the importance of moral cleanliness and how they can remain in that state. Encouraging participation in seminary, youth programs, and Sunday School to reinforce what you've taught in the home.

Then you must teach your youngsters what to do if they are exposed. Unfortunately, seeing these terrible images is almost unavoidable in 2014. Take away the shame of accidental viewing by explaining that everyone runs the risk of a sighting, just as we all have hands that need washing at some point. They should stop the experience within 3 seconds by closing their eyes, turning off the device, leaving the room, or in other ways removing themselves. This should be followed by prayer and recalling the words of a favorite hymn or Primary song to reduce the chances that these images will be permanent.

If your child with a disability has been exposed, understand that the compulsion to return again and again to this type of content becomes an addiction. These compulsions will wash over them in waves similar to those felt by other types of addicts. Strong intervention is needed to treat this condition.

First, contact your bishop or branch president. You should also carefully review the information available at http://overcomingpornography.org. Recovery meetings may be available in your area for those over the age of 18, and other options have been provided for teens. See the documents in the “Internet Safety and Avoiding Pornography” section of ldsdisabilitieshelp.com for additional information.

 Pornography is a plague upon the land. Far too many parents don’t take the threat seriously enough, especially when the child has a cognitive disability. Follow the steps outlined above to protect your children before they become the latest victims of those who would ensnare them in the net of pornography.