Upcoming Presentation - Bullying

I'll be making a presentation about perceived bullying an cyber bullying on April 27 at 9 AM on behalf of the Genesis Autism Resource Center and the ARC of Northeast Tarrant County. Click here to register.

Bullying.....or not!

The news is full of reports of bullying and its consequences. Students who have endured taunting for years go on shooting rampages or commit suicide. Parents claim nothing was done to help their child despite repeated complaints.

Bullying is nothing new. I've experienced it, and so have you.

What is bullying? Behavior is considered to be bullying when it meets the following criteria:

• Negative behaviors by peers over time.
• The perpetrator intends to oppress the victim.
• There is a disparity in age, physical size or ability, intellectual abilities, or social status.

There are several types of bullying. The negative actions may be physical, social, relational, verbal, sexual, and cyber.

Physical bullying is the easiest to identify, Any type of violent physical contact falls into this category, and the marks make it stand out.

Social and relational bullying are similar in nature. This may appear as shunning, ignoring, intentional embarrassment, or acting in an unwelcome manner.

Verbal bullying involves threats, teasing, comments, or intimidation.

Sexual bullying includes unwanted physical contact, sexual comments or displays.

Cyber bullying is similar to verbal, but it involves some form of technology.

Think you have a handle on it? Take a look at the following scenarios:

A seventh grade girl is upset because she isn't invited to a party. Is this bullying?

• No, because this is a one-time event. If this is part of a pattern, and the girl(s) involved repeatedly point out that she is being left out, the teasing is bullying. There are too many other reasons why someone is not invited to a private activity.

A sixth grade boy is called "gay" repeatedly by a variety of students.

• Yes. This is a negative behavior intended to oppress. Members of a group are using their status to inflict pain.

If your child reports bullying, do as much investigation as you can. If it is a one-time problem, teach your youngster how to resolve conflicts with others and make friends. Unless there was a serious threat of harm, this does not necessarily need further action.

If the events have continued for more than a week, it's time to alert the school. An investigation will be launched. Do not ask what happened to the other student. This is confidential, and you will not be notified. Do ask what is being done to protect your child. If you are concerned, visit with school officials.

Be aware that students do make false reports of bullying incidents. They may be trying to disguise their own bullying of others, covering up for a school transgression, or trying to explain away stress behaviors. Be careful when jumping to conclusions.

The best defense against bullying is vigilance. Encourage your child to be near school personnel during unstructured times (before and after school, lunch, etc.). Ask administrators to keep an eye on your student. Be aware of their digital communications. Watch during community activities. It's the only proven solution.

Questions about this topic? Click the link to send me an email.

What Makes a Bully?

Bullying is a hot topic right now. One thing that is in hot debate is what constitutes bullying. Experts state that bullying can be divided into three categories, including physical, verbal, and relationship.

Physical bullying can mean physically harming someone, or threatening to hurt them. It also includes taking or damaging the property of someone else. Forcing a person to do something against their will also falls into this category.

Verbal bullying can include anything from name-calling to teasing or insulting someone.

Relationship bullying takes place when one person refuses to talk to another or spreads lies or rumors about them.

One important part of deciding whether or not the actions of another are bullying is time. Incidents that happen once are unpleasant, but not bullying. Events must happen again and again over a long period of time to really be bullying.

Why do bullies do what they do? Power. If they can intimidate someone, they have control over them.

Watch this space soon for information about what do do about bullies.

Magical Thinking

Dr. Dido Green at Tel Aviv University has developed an innovative therapy for children with locomotor problems. She teaches them simple magic tricks. They are motivated because the exercises are fun, and they can impress their friends. This leads to more practice, and a marked improvement in skills.

What's next? She plans to study a group of children to see if magic has an impact on their neurological skills. All with a little instruction, rubber bands, and sponge balls. Impressive.

This is an example of how out-of-the-box thinking can lead to significant breakthroughs. Other recent discoveries have challenged traditional thinking about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and bullying.

Scientists at the University of California, San Diego, have developed a "life shirt" that interprets the wearer's movements. This device can determine whether the subject has bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Information from this study will also be used to develop new treatments.

Psychologists at George Mason University have discovered that many adults who were bullies in childhood actually have a form of social anxiety disorder. They suggest working with bullies to increase self control and reduce impulsive behaviors rather than focusing on aggression alone.

The takeaway from all this? When looking at a problem, take a break and try to see the situation through fresh eyes. Look from a new angle and a unique solution may present itself.